The Erotic Nature of Longing

Understanding longing through the lens of archetypal psychology and feminine individuation.

In Jungian and archetypal psychology, the word “Eros” is often misunderstood. Most people hear it and immediately think of sex. But in its original sense, Eros is not limited to sexuality. It refers to the force of relatedness—the energy that connects us to life, to meaning, to the soul of things.

Eros is what draws us toward something: a person, a creative project, a vision for our future, or even a version of ourselves we haven’t yet fully lived into. It’s the spark that makes something matter. In that sense, Eros is deeply connected to longing.

When a woman says she wants to be a mother, to be seen in her work, or to finally rest after years of over-functioning, what she’s experiencing is not just desire. It’s Eros. It’s the movement of her psyche toward aliveness. It’s a signal from the deeper layers of her being that something important is waking up.

Longing, then, is not a sign that something’s wrong with us. It’s a sign that something within us wants to be felt, known, and honored.

And yet, we’ve been conditioned to relate to longing with suspicion. We’re told that if we want something deeply, we’re “lacking” or “not manifesting correctly.” We’re taught to shame ourselves for needing too much or for not already having it all together.

This creates a profound disconnection. Instead of listening to our longing, we try to manage it, control it, suppress it. We either abandon the longing entirely, or we chase after it in a way that leaves us feeling even more depleted. Either way, we lose the wisdom it carries.

In my work, I often talk about how longing is not a problem to be solved—it’s an initiation. It’s a sacred portal into deeper integration, especially when viewed through the lens of the shadow.

That’s why I created Longing of Salomé, a 90-minute live workshop exploring longing as an archetypal force—not something to get rid of, but something to get to know.

In the biblical and literary myth, Salomé is portrayed as a dangerous woman, the one who danced before King Herod and asked for the head of John the Baptist. But when we look deeper, Salomé is not just a femme fatale. She is the face of longing itself. She represents the forbidden, the repressed, the parts of the feminine psyche that have been silenced for centuries.

Inside the workshop, we explore the Salomé archetype, engage in guided inquiry, and participate in an integration ritual to help you connect with your own sacred longing—the kind you may have buried, judged, or forgotten.

You don’t need to come with a clear goal. You don’t need to justify your desire. This experience is about creating space to be with what’s real—the hunger, the ache, the part of you that’s still alive beneath the persona you’ve had to wear.

If this resonates with you, Longing of Salomé happens live on Zoom on August 8 at 7 PM EST. Replay is included.

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